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Part of USS Seattle: Christmas One Shot

Christmas on Ferenginar

Ferenginar & USS Seattle
2401 - Christmas
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—- Ready Room, USS Seattle —-

 

“The Ambassador’s party has beamed down,” Commander Shraa Th’risris said as she looked at the bottle of wine, not that she understood much about human wines. Was 2387 a good year, she much preferred the ice wine of her home world, something to send a chill down your spine.

Captain Cruz nodded, “Then we’re off the clock until he needs to go back to Vulcan. I gave our teams the time off, and we’ll just monitor the diplomatic situation so we’re prepared for his return. Good to get some of our people off the ship. I don’t think Lieutenant Commander Young has had fresh air since last January.”

”So what now?” Th’risris asked.

”Now we celebrate Christmas,” Cruz said, while Religion was no longer a thing on Earth her Catholic background had been devoutly into Christmas even if the bits about God and the Baby Jesus had long since passed out of the holiday.

”That human holiday with the raccoon?” Th’risris asked.

”It’s a rabbit, and that’s Easter. This is better I have a program in the holodeck, a snowy cabin, a wam fire,” Cruz began wrapping her arms around her first officer’s neck, “And a warm blanket and us.“

After the kiss Th’risris said, “A childhood memory?”

”I’m from Mexico City, we don’t get snow, also not a lot of cool Andorian women in my past,” Cruz laughed.

”Not a lot, but some?” Th’risris teased.

”One,” Cruz said, “From my Academy days, used to bully me.”

”She sounds fun,” the Andorian smiled, still teasing knowing that this would have been her.

”She is,” Cruz said.

 

—- Ferenginar, Planet’s Surface —-

 

It was not correct to call this the financial or consumer district since even the public libraries on Ferenginar had gift shops. Casinos, tattoo parlours, and pretty much anything anyone with money could want was up for sale. Lieutenant Commander James Young the Chief Engineering Officer aboard the USS Seattle was looking for something to spend ten bars of gold press latinum on. It wasn’t his, but the Captain had given it to him as part of an effort to get him out of the ship’s engineering department and onto terra firma.

Lieutenant Diya Acharya had accompanied him.

”So you’re buying a Christmas present?” she asked.

”Maybe it seems like I should send one to my parents,” Young said, then added, “What did you get yours for Christmas?”

”We don’t celebrate Christmas,” Acharya said, “My ancestors were Hindi, not Christian.”

“Everyone celebrates now,” Young said, “Even Ferengies, look it’s Santa.”

He pointed to a neon sign for a gentleman‘s club which they both took to be a strip club where men could have their lobes… dealt with. Young was not sure what a Ferengi dressed in red and white with a big bushy white beard had to do with that, but it was certainly a take on Santa.

”A magic elf breaks into your home and gives kids gifts meaning their parents need to spend more latinum, what could be more Ferengi than Christmas?” Acharya asked dryly, “If the humans hadn’t invented it, the Ferengi would have.”

”Look charity, I can adopt an orphan for them and send home a certificate,” Young said.

They entered the shop. 

“What do you want Star Fleet?” the shopkeeper, and older Ferengi man asked.

”I wanted to put ten bars of gold pressed latinum down to fund an orphan or something,” Young said.

”For ten bars, we’ll give a child three bars of gold pressed latinum,” the man said.

”What about the other seven bars?” Young asked.

”Administrative over heard, but we’ll give you a certificate saying you did good,” the Ferengi said.

”How about like a goat for a village or something?” Acharya asked.

”Why would a village want a goat?” the man asked back.

”For milk, pulling farming tools,” the Chief Diplomatic Officer said.

”For ten bars of gold pressed latinum we’ll explode a goat,” the man offered, “And give you a certificate saying you helped blow up a goat. The kids can eat the meat that blows off the body.”

”You know I think I’ll look around first,” Young said backing out of the store.

Back in the street the two sighed. Obviously blowing up a goat on a far away planet was not a good Christmas gift.

”What do your parents really want, not this tchotchke stuff,“ Acharya asked.

”I guess, to know I’m happy,” Young said.

”Are you happy Lieutenant Commander Young?” Acharya asked.

”I guess so, I have my own department, I’m the Chief Engineer on an exciting ship,” he said.

”Is that all you’re happy about?” she asked.

”I have friends,” Young said. 

Acharya looked up, “I think we’re standing under mistletoe, you know the tradition with that?”

Young looked up, “That looks like some slime, or a weed maybe?”

Acharya’s heart was racing as she kissed him, Young still trying to figure out what they were standing under. As she did however he gave up on that, and returned the kiss. It had been a hard last few months, with many things happening in his life which were not yet canon. Yet the in moment he had found peace on Ferenginar.

The moment did not last long as someone yelled, “Touch her lobes Romeo.”

As you dear reader likely know, being an educated and attractive person, Shakespeare is best read in its original Ferengi. 

Acharya smiled at him, “You can touch my lobes later.“

”Wait is that something you’re into?” Young asked, as she slid her hand into his and lead him back down the street.

”Merry Christmas James,” was her answer.

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