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Part of USS Blythe: Perihelion

Mutiny Shmutiny, It’ll Be Fun

Cetacean Ops- USS Blythe
Present Day
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Joe the dolphin wasn’t happy. His fellow cetaceans had noticed him brooding for the second day in a row now. Eventually Bob(sounds like James Earl Jones), the other dolphin, swam over to the feeding pool where Joe was just floating, not even swimming. It was a terrible sight for another dolphin to see. It was clear to Bob that his pal had just been dumped and was in a deep bought of depression.

“Joe, Mee IH and I worried about you. Your calculations yesterday were filled with errors, you aren’t swimming, you didnt even ask Lt. Finneas to come for a skinny dip when he was here a few hours. Whats wrong cousin?”

Joe floated motionless in the water for several seconds before bursting into tears “She dumped me man…I’m so sick of this speciesist crap bro…” he really let it out now, balling like a newborn pup.

“Hmm..Lt. Dish wasn’t into pursuing into the idea of an interspecies relationship…you don’t say?” Bob swam over to the booze button and tapped it with his nose, lower the two Malibu tubes for both he and Joe.

Joe spoke through squeeky sobs as he bared his soul to his long time friend “I mean….at first she was totally into it…you saw…she came skinny dipping like 3 time in the last few weeks….but then when I got the new flipper repulsors and we went out for dinner a few times in the mess hall…. and she just totally changed. She said that having random crewmates to chuck sardines for mento catch and then eat was unbecoming and gave her the ‘ick’ whatever the fuck that is.”

Joe regained his composure enough to lift himself out of the water long enough to take a big swig of Malibu. Bob had seen this routine a few times from Joe over the years.

“Well Joe, maybe its for the best, with this situation on the border thebship may need us to do lighting fast calculations to get us out of danger. My grandmother says the news hasn’t said anything about the Tholian border since the Kozlov was lost several days ago….but I have a feeling the Tholians are up to something…”

“Enh, you’re out of your fur Bob, you always say this, a year ago you thought we were all getting assimilated. 3 years ago you thought the Klingon Empire was going to fracture and declare was on us. 9 years ago you thought the Gorn were going to invade. None of it happened you’re just a a negative nancy.”

“Indeed, maybe you’re right.” Bob said as Joe leapt out of his cradle and began swimming around. ‘Atleast you’re not complaining about Lt. Dish dumping you anymore though’ Bob thought.

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