It was the orange she loved best.  That special tinge of yellow and red that filtered through the clouds as the sun that warmed Tergenas I moved towards the horizon and the other side of the planet.  It was Samantha Soojin’s favorite color, and she had found the perfect spot in the mountains to watch the sunsets for the last few days.  The fades and mixes of the deep reds and the bright yellows were beautiful, but her heart belonged to orange.

“Sunsets are your favorite, I take it.”  She turned at the voice and smiled at the appearance of Chief Petty Officer Henry Wyatt, Gagarin’s resident El Aurian, and Quartermaster.  He was dressed in civilian clothes, like her.  Like her, he held a glass with a brownish liquid swirling around inside.

She chuckled, amused. “Didn’t know I had an audience.”  She’d chosen the mountain retreat as a way to put some distance between her and the rest of her Gagarin life.  With the events of the last few months, she’d felt the urge to run away several times.  Shore leave made it easy.  She studied Wyatt, saying, “Didn’t really want an audience.” He sat down next to her with a sigh, sitting back in the chair and closing his eyes in relief.  She waited and watched him take a long sip from his drink before he turned his attention back to her.

“You always have an audience, Ms. Soojin.  We all do – in one way or another.  Besides, I did leave you alone for the last three days.”  He slipped off his sunglasses as the sun made its last gasp before diving below the ends of the planet.  “I wondered if you were going to stay solo and live a sentinel life up here for the next four weeks.”

Sam took her sunglasses off and reached for her drink.  She felt alone.  As if she were stranded on the Gagarin.  She had built friendships, and she felt more connected each day.  And yet, here she was on the highest peak, running from something.  “I’m…lost.”  She drank her spiced cider, wincing at the kick of the cinnamon.

Wyatt remained in his chair, staring at the fading light.  The lights on the deck hummed on and filled the space with a warm yellow glow.  They sat in relative silence while the air temperature dropped, and the space heaters around them thrummed on.  He turned to her, “What are you lost from?”

Sam felt her brows furrow instinctively and didn’t like that she wasn’t sure why.  The question echoed in her mind as she tried to start answering it, but kept closing her mouth on each attempt.  She downed the rest of her drink and sat up.  “I’m not lost like Sadie was.  I’m lost because…I’m not sure who I am.”  She shook her head, mostly to herself.  “That’s not the truth. I know who I am.  I’m Sam Soojin, chief counseling officer for the USS Gagarin.  I’m an ensign in Starfleet.”  Leaning back, she stared at the stars dancing in the sky.  “I’m not sure I know who I am beyond that.”  Her eyes turned to him, wondering why she’d opened up to him so quickly.  She grumbled as she realized it, “El Aurians and your ‘listener’ skills.”

He laughed, startling her.  He answered, “There are a few of us who have a natural ability that leads people to open up more, but I am not one of them.”  She watched as he finished his drink, relishing the flavor.

She sighed, feeling defeated.  “I sent a letter home.’  She explained what she had said in the letter and why she had finally sent it after making so many versions over the years.  “I’m an orphan, but I made the choice to be who I am.”  Sam felt a rush of emotions in her throat.  She’d never said it out loud.  She’d kept her confession to herself, wrestling with it.  Dabbing at her eyes as they threatened to overflow, “You know, there are days I wish I’d just…buckled under their rule, their law…that I had given up trying to fight them on everything.”  Another sigh escaped her lips, but this one was tinged with a quiet cry.

She felt Wyatt shift and sit beside her, placing one hand on her shoulder.  He didn’t speak. He sat with her as she let the tears flow, staining her cheeks.  Minutes passed until she wiped her eyes with the napkin from her drink.  She could feel her emotions still simmering below.  The release had helped, she realized.  His deep voice brought her back to the present. “You should not do this alone, Ms. Soojin.”

Sam turned to him as her emotions remained in chaos.  “I don’t want to, Mr. Wyatt.”  She shook her head, unsure of her directions.  “What do I do?  How do I do?  You would think as a counselor, I’d know!”

Wyatt spoke gently, “It is hard to get a handle on the path when intense emotions are at play.  Even as good as you are at your job, you’ll need help.”  He smiled, “And just your luck, I’m here to help.”

She stared at him, “Don’t you have shore leave plans?”

He leaned in, “I’ve seen the universe, kid.  I’ve had my share of travel.”  He glanced around, conspiratorially, “I hear they have an incredible restaurant at the top of this establishment.  I’ve learned food helps in the process.”

Sam felt a weak smile reach her lips, “Bless you, Mr. Wyatt.”

He replied, “Call me Henry.”

He stood, and she joined him, replying, “Call me Sam.”