I did it! I told my mom and dad about Neeya, and they invited us over to Risa for the Lohlunat festival this summer. Now I just have to convince her that meeting them is a good idea… easier said than done, I know. 

Perhaps it’s a good thing that I got so much time to come up with a good way to do that. If it wasn’t for the Blackout, I’d probably already have written to her… and definitely said something stupid. 

I really need to stop doing stupid things – like collecting seashells for her. She’s so… well, not old, but so… you know what I mean, the symbiont. She’s probably had all the seashells she could want. 

Hopefully I’ll come up with something better.

— from Fransix Leski’s personal log

Neeya Velix was feeling like an Ensign all over again – on good days. On bad days, like the one she was desperately trying to survive right now, she felt more like a first year cadet.  Overwhelmed. Out of place. Tired, and like she should know all the things but knew barely enough to not make a fool out of herself.

“Hand me the infusion port.”, barked Doctor Lakin over the sound whirring of medical devices, people desperately calling out for family members, and medical staff trying to keep some semblance of order.

Neeya wiped a bead of sweat from her brow and turned, reached into the nearest crates, rummaged through the disorganized mess of diagnostic tools and mislabelled hyposprays, until she retrieved a slender device that-

“No, not that one. It’s… no matter, I’ll get it myself.”

Lakin was trying hard not to let his annoyance show, but Neeya saw it. And even though she didn’t blame him – he was stressed. All of them were – it got to her more than she cared to admit.

Her shoulders sagged as she dropped the device and stared down at her empty hands, avoiding eye contact as Lakin approached. He didn’t say anything as he reached for a tool that looked the exact same before returning to his patient.

“Don’t just stand there. Did you download the test results?”, he scolded as he knelt next to the Valari female whose high fever had prioritized her over the broken bones and gushing wounds.

Her freighter had arrived a few hours ago, bringing with it a few hundred additional refugees. Standard operating procedure – funnel the injured to the triage area, the others to the habitat ring – had failed the moment one of the Valari had tested positive for HGV-IV, a rapidly spreading virus that had been confined to the rural areas of Velara III until the Blackout had stirred people into motion.

Neeya’s eyes widened. “I-.. I’m sorry, I… forgot.”

Which wasn’t quite what had happened. She had waited for the upload to complete when Doctor J’han had called her to sedate a panicking Esiran, then Lakin had needed her to refill the analgesics,  then a group of Surnek demanding to know where their missing family members were had slowed her down, and then…

“Do it now. It takes priority.”

“Okay…” Neeya could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. She should have known. Lakin had even taken time, a whole twenty seconds, to explain to her why it was important that they kept the virus contained. She shouldn’t have to be told again.

But then, she wasn’t even a doctor. Or a nurse. She was a scientist.

Though, a little voice inside her head told her, evidently not a good one. Otherwise Pereira wouldn’t have pulled her off the current project and sent her to help out in the triage centres.

Please be negative… please be negative… 

She squeezed her eyes shut as she reached for the PADD.

Please be negative. 

She opened one eye. Then another. Then closed both again.

Shit. 

“Doctor Lakin.”, she said quietly, turning around and needing a moment to find him with the next patient.

“What now?”

“The scan. It comes up with HGV-IV positive.”

“And that’s why I need you to do those checks right away.”, Lakin glared. “Isolate her – no, I’ll rather do that myself. You recalibrate the environmental control filters. Set the pathogen discriminator to level six, the bio-selective parameters to HGV-IV’s protein structure, and divert recirculation through the decontamination subgrid.” He paused. “You can do that, right?”

“Y-… yes sir.”

“Good. I can’t have this spread here.”, he remarked, not sparing another glance as he shifted attention to his patient.

Neeya could feel tears well up in her eyes. She would have cried if she hadn’t been so exhausted. And if she had any illusion that it would help.

But she’d get a few annoyed glances from those who were trying to keep it together, and sympathetic ones from those who actually were.

Perhaps she would be given a few minutes to talk to a colleague or counselor, but the current situation didn’t allow for her to slow down, let alone stop.

Neeya hurried toward the environmental systems hub, glad to find it deserted, and blissfully quiet. A small reprieve from the chaos of the rest of the station.

Set the pathogen discriminator to level six. 

Her fingers flew across the interface, glad to finally receive a task they felt confident doing.

Bio-selective parameters to… right, the protein structure. And then-….

What then? Her mind raced as she tried to remember the third thing, something that had seemed entirely obvious at the time, but now eluded her.

And just when she started panicking, someone behind her spoke up.

“Divert recirculation through the decontamination subgrid.” Pereira said calmly, and took a step towards her.

Neeya’s heart skipped a beat, and then sank into her stomach. She didn’t turn around.

“H… hi…”, Neeya sniffed. “I am just trying to-… reconfigure….”

“I was looking for you. Lakin told me he’s been an asshole.” Pereira smiled, and placed a hand on her shoulder. She could feel his warmth even through the uniform, the heaviness of a touch that anchored her in the here and now.

“Kind of…”, she admitted “But it’s fine. He’s stressed. I didn’t… take it personally.” she tried, but didn’t resist when Pereira turned her around to him.

“Take a deep breath.”, he said, and without a hurry in the world raised his hand to her cheek, wiping away the tears that had spilled over. Which did nothing to help Neeya breathe normally.

She looked away.

“It’s just… there is nothing we can do. I have people asking me about their loved ones, about their homes, about refugee shuttles that never made it here… and it never ends. More and more and more are coming and I am so tired…”, she said, the words tumbling out before she could stop herself.

For a moment, Pereira stayed silent. Then, he took her into his arms.

He smelled of sweat and exhaustion, of burnt circuitry and ionized air, and whatever cologne he had started the day with had long since faded. But felt safe in his arms. Safe and comfortable, shielded from what was going on outside.

Perhaps it was the desire to feel something that wasn’t dread. Perhaps it had been a long time coming.

Neeya wasn’t sure what it was, but before her brain could catch up to what her body was doing, she had risen to the tip of her toes and pressed her lips on his.

Quick. Nervous. But undeniably real. Just enough to taste what might be if they ever moved past rank and position.

Pereira’s eyes widened in surprise. He neither pulled away, nor did he return the kiss.

“I’m .. sorry.”, Neeya said as she drew back. She wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for.

“Don’t be.”, he said kindly, and took her hand. “But aren’t you seeing Leski?”

Leski.

If Neeya was honest with herself, she hadn’t spared him a single thought ever since he had left to visit family on Risa. And that had been weeks ago, before the Blackout hit.

No, that wasn’t quite right. She had stopped thinking about him once the Blackout hit, and not because she no longer cared, but because she had been so incredibly busy.

Now, weeks later, the memory of their time together seemed so far away that she couldn’t even remember the sound of his laugh.

She gave a tired shrug. “Not right now.”

Pereira searched her face for a moment. And then, as if understanding something deeper than words, he nodded.

“Okay..”, he said quietly, and this time, he kissed her back.

The second kiss was different. A beginning disguised as surrender, like stepping into the fire and not looking back. There was no hesitation, no apology – just the pull of two people seeking something warm in the cold. Neeya pressed into him, her breath catching in her threat as his hands found her waist. For a few heartbeats, nothing outside the control room mattered.

When he pulled back, his voice was barely a whisper. “Lock the door.”

She’s probably out there, fixing the Blackout all by herself. Wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest. And it’s selfish to wish she had come to Risa with me instead, I know. 

I just really miss her.

— from Fransix Leski’s personal log