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Balladeer

Description

  • Ballad (noun, plural: ballads)
    1. A slow sentimental or romantic song
    2. A poem or song narrating a story in short stanzas. Traditional ballads are typically of unknown origin, having been passed down orally through generations.

    Time to put your poet hat on and create your own Trek-themed ballad! This isn’t limited to your BF characters, though you may certainly do so. It can also be about the shows, novels, attending a convention, or playing a Star Trek oriented game such as Star Trek Online or Star Trek: Fleet Command.

    You are going to choose an existing ballad. Examples include The Ballad of Tom Dooley, The Ballad of the Edmund Fitzgerald, or The Ballad of Gilligan’s Island. Below is an example I wrote, along with the ballad it is patterned after.

    The Ballad of the Failed Shuttle Mission refers to playing Star Trek Timelines and the RNG of shuttle competitions. Annnddd…. is patterned after Gilligan’s Island which I have, for some reason, memorised and sing in the shower, along with Tom Dooley. Don’t judge me. 

Ballad of the Failed Shuttle Mission

©JA d’Merricksson, 2017

Just sit right back 

And you’ll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful trip,

That started in the vasts of space

From tha’ silvered ship.

 

Tha’ crew were mighty explor-or-ers

Tha’ Cap’n brave and sure.

Five crew flew out that day 

For a three hour tour (a three hour tour)

 

Tha’ solar winds were getting rough

Tha’ tiny ship was tossed.

If not for the courage of tha’ fearless crew

Tha’ Fawcett would be lost (tha’ Fawcett would be lost)

 

Now tha’ ship’s aground on 

Tha’ surface of this ruddy golden orb

With Tucker and tha’ Cap’n too

An Augment and tha’ Kai

 

Tha’ Counselor

Tha’ Doctor and Julian,

Here on Tucker’s rondure. (here on Tucker’s rondure)

 

The Ballad of Gilligan’s Island

by George Wyle and Sherwood Shwartz

 

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful trip

That started from this tropic port

Aboard this tiny ship.

 

The mate was a mighty sailing man,

The skipper brave and sure.

Five passengers set sail that day

For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

 

The weather started getting rough,

The tiny ship was tossed,

If not for the courage of the fearless crew

The Minnow would be lost, the Minnow would be lost.

 

The ship’s a’ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle

With Gilligan

The Skipper too,

The millionaire and his wife,

 

The movie star

The Professor and Mary Ann,

Here on Gilligan’s Isle.

source: https://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/gilligansislandlyrics.html

Criteria

  • Topic - must be Star Trek related, either within, from one of your characters' viewpoints, or about, such as playing STO or Fleet Command, or cosplay, etc.
  • Style - it must be patterned after a known ballad, like 'Tom Dooley' or 'Gilligan's Island'. See example above.
  • Follow the format provided, including the original ballad you used as a pattern, and a link to said ballad.
  • Winners will be based in adherence to criteria, as well as originality.

Winners

Submissions

User Content Date Entry
Luke Duncan (#1759)

Original ballard: Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy
https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/valentine/

Vulcantine by MJ

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you a plomeek soup.
It is a lake filled with nothingness.
It promises logic
like the careful undressing of Pon Farr.

Here.
It will underwhelm you with no tears
Like the Forge.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling shot of neuro pressure.

I am trying to be logical.

Not a cute moopsy or a Klingon-ogram.
I give you a plomeek soup.
Its bland kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and uneventful
as we are,
for as live long and prosper as we are.

Take it.
Its latinum bowl is a deep game of kal-toh,
if you like.
Tiresome.
Its lack of scent will cling to nothing,
cling to your katra.

2024-01-10 20:42:38
Freki Azorius (#2473)

Because I could not stop for Q,
He kindly stopped for me;
The shuttle held but just ourselves,
His Immortality.
We slowly flew, on Impulse sure,
My phaser, put away,
My fear of him, my thirst to know,
More of this Continuum.
We passed the cluster where stars would die,
Their light just scarcely gone;
We passed the debris field of ships gone by,
We passed the moons above.
We paused before a vessel near,
Ferengi, looked as much;
The ship itself was scarcely visible,
The vessel torn asunder;
Since Ferengi anger many folks,
For all they do is plunder.
I first surmised Q’s plan for me,
My time was surely over,
So when you think of immortal things,
Remember, me, your Clover.

Source: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47652/because-i-could-not-stop-for-death-479

2024-01-08 08:28:33

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