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The Rhyming Klingon

Description

Someone is leaving bad poems around Starbase Bravo’s marketplaces, it seems an infamous poetry criminal has escaped alongside several fugitives in the recent prison break. Starbase Security believes the only way to draw him out is to make him believe someone is trying to take his title as the best poet in the quadrant. Unfortunately not one of them can rhyme, your superiors have suggested you might be a help, can you out-write ‘The Rhyming Klingon’?

Submissions for this competition should take the form of a 5 line limerick. A limerick is a short humorous poem that generally obeys the following rules;

  1. They are five lines long.

  2. Lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme with one another.

  3. Lines 3 and 4 rhyme with each other.

  4. The first, second, and fifth lines have seven to ten syllables, while the third and fourth lines have five to seven syllables

For Example;

There once was a girl from Orion,
Who scared off some pirates at Triton.
She flipped her red hair,
And without a care,
Said ‘You haven’t turned off the oven’!

Criteria

  • Submissions should take the form of the limerick entered directly into the BFMS textbox in the same layout as the example.
  • Submissions will be judged on a scale of 1-5 (5 being highest) for the following 4 criteria; 30% Correctness of form and style, 30% Creativity of content and rhyme, 30% Relevance to canon and ongoing in-universe activities, 10% Correctness of spelling and grammar
  • The highest-scoring limerick will be declared the winner, ties will be decided by the order of submission.

Winners

Submissions

User Content Date Entry
Alaric Constantine (#1651)

Plain, Simple Garak

To my doctor, all I do is lie.
And my people just want me to fry.
When stuck in a wall,
I will curl up and bawl,
Pain receptors are off, so I'm high.

2024-11-26 19:13:13
James MacLeod (#653)

There once was a Klingon named Torq,
Who rhymed as he wielded his d’k’tagh fork.
He’d duel with his pen,
And strike fear in all men,
While eating his gagh on the porch.

2024-11-25 17:44:36
Jeremy L. Ryan (#2796)

A Klingon once boasted of skill,
To an Orion who danced for the thrill.
She teased with a sway,
Then danced fast away,
And left him to dream of her still.

2024-11-24 18:03:08
Cressida Brennan (#2765)

Tom Paris' Shower Thoughts

When under the shower, sonic and hot
I wonder if I truly charms I have not

That one Engineer looks nice
but I have zero dice.

To simply ask her out and not get shot.

2024-11-21 14:04:27
Reva Sarrik (#2185)

There once was an Orion named Zi’ket,
who, if he saw a lock, must pick it.
One day there was a trap
that tripped with a zap,
and poor Zi’ket, he did kick it.

This was fun! I used to do a great deal of poetry. This is the 2nd in the last few weeks I've written 😸

I know images weren't required but I decided to see what midjourney came up with using the poem as a prompt. I tweaked it some in PicsArt, but I'm not disappointed 😹 Figured I'd share.

2024-11-20 23:41:27
Roger Allen (#2443)

I'm the best poet on Bravo Starbase.

I write, I rhyme, with a smile on my face.

Tomorrow or today,

Whether night or day,

Try to catch me, it will be quite a chase.

2024-11-17 03:16:52

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